Dearest Irulan:
I am so sorry for calling on you while you are on vacation, a well-earned one I might add, but we are terribly short-staffed at the moment and I am frankly overbooked.
Business in, of all god-forsaken places, Des Moines...has taken a somewhat ugly turn and we may have to place both the vampire AND the werewolf communities here on our “Do Not BUY or SELL list. I don’t want to get into it until I return. I think it’s all an honest misunderstanding. But it’s kept me overlong sorting it out and Rafe Cumberland is here too. over-caffeinated and smiling that smile of his that promises horrible mayhem and destruction. If he didn’t work for US, he’d be the sort of Magus we’d have to DO something about.
In any event, If you’re willing to pick up some extra cash, The shipment is on it’s way to Philadelphia.
-Love
Desmond.
Happy 45
Article Description: A 45 vinyl record on the original Calendar record label “A” is the song “Sugar Sugar” by the Archies and the “B” side is a tune called “Melody Hill” but someone seems to have scratched the B-side of single. Scratched it quite thoroughly.
Provenance: Bought from an anonymous source, although some poking around revealed that the original seller may have been record producer Phil Spector.
Analysis of the Research Team: Causes the listener to feel a sense of well-being and euphoria for the 2:48 that the single runs. May cause spontaneous singing and dancing.
Does not appear to be habit forming, as so many of these sorts of things tend to be. The tendency is not to want to listen again and again. And the good mood tends to last unless spoiled. The oddest thing though is that if someone hears the very same song, but not from this source, it tends to create a feeling of agitation, and in some people, pre-psychotic rage. I can only wonder why “Melody Hill” is so scratched up. No recordings seem to have the same effect as the original source. I am always fascinated by these sorts of artifacts, the ones that just don’t appear to have been planned in any way.
Disposition: Safe for sale, The usual caveats. Also, you might mention that magic isn’t really a substitute for actual therapy.
Heartbreak Cleanser
Article Description: A vile green concoction that seems to taste like a cross between NyQuil and Creme de Menthe. I think maybe both were used to cover its actual flavor. The sample I have is in a simple Ball mason jar.
Provenance: A thunder-wife I met in West Virginia. Says she can make it in bulk.
Analysis of the Research Team: Can completely remove an emotional attachment to another human being in the space of 3 hours. Usually, the process of getting over some unfortunate romantic misadventure is a long drawn-out affair that takes place over time. The limbic system taking far longer to recover, or indeed get the message, than the higher cognitive functions. But this enables the person drinking it to sweat those awful feelings out of the system completely. Although that 3 hours that one has to go through is a combination of kicking heroin while being stricken with the flu. You rise again with a clean heart alright, but shaken and sweaty and clammy. and swearing you’ll likely never do it again. Wanda says she came up with the formula after breaking it off with her Ex and hasn’t thought a more than tender thought about him in 7 years. It does seem to have ameliorated my feeling about...A woman who shall remain nameless in corporate documents.
Disposition: Don’t undersell how BAD those three hours are.
An empty Iron Centipede
Article Description: Appears to be a sculpture of a large iron centipede. Over 11 feet long and two feet high. Appears to have multiple points of articulation
Provenance: Hanoi Xan, the face that is no face.
Analysis of the Research Team: I swear, Eastern Occultism is like PORNOGRAPHY to me. I simply can’t get enough. This appears to be the actual carcass of one of the denizens of the many many Chinese hells. The carcass shows no damage and does not seem to have any signs of habitation or aura at all. So it’s a bit of a mystery as to why it’s completely inert. One wonders where its Anima has gotten to.
Disposition: Not sure if this useful for any sort of artificing magic or not. Makes a hell of an interesting curio, though.
The Longest Game
Article Description: A largish tome with a curved brass plate for a spine. decorated with gold leaf. Two locks, no traps. written in Icelandic. No one seems to know who the author is.
Provenance: Fence “L” who knows that I’m on the lookout for these sorts of things.
Analysis of the Research Team: My Icelandic is rusty, but this seems to be a fairly well researched book on specific methods of obtaining immortality or at very least, extremely effective antigeria magic. The section on eastern immortality methods is very well done and there is a very complete chapter on how to derive long life from sacrificial methods (Only one of the rituals being completely incorrect according to my experience and research.) Some of the translation work may need some cleaning up. Also, has a fairly decent chapter on the downsides of deriving immortality via vampirism or demonic barter.
Disposition: Normally, As someone who may be immortal myself, I tend to think of these sorts of articles as extremely dangerous, but as it happens, this book has been acquired at the behest of a trusted friend. He’ll make himself known to you at the sale. If something happens to prevent that, get out of the city as fast as you can.
Topsoil
Article Description: five-gallon plastic bucket of dense, moisture protected topsoil. May have bits of grass.
Provenance: Rasputin (Remind me to bring him a special treat next time I head to St. Petersburg. Like broad-minded triplets or something like that.)
Analysis of the Research Team: Appears to be gathered from the center of the Tunguska crater. Tends to be useful as a form of magical amplifier. The soil seems to retain a certain amount of background magical radiation as long as it retains its moisture. Safe for use in creating powerful protection circles and abjurations. Incredibly dangerous for use with Evocation magic as the energies tend to chain react. Considering what went on at Tunguska, I am not at all surprised.
Disposition: We can sell this stuff but if people use it for evocatory magic, It will eat them alive. All the usual caveats.
Demon Blood
Article Description: 10 phials, dark orange liquid. Not sure what caste of demons they are supposed to be from.
Provenance: Occult Flea Market here in town at a little place called, “The Grimoire”
Analysis of the Research Team: Useful for all the usual things you’d use demon blood for. Doesn’t seem to be bothering the owner, as no one has turned up from our testing, which leads me to suppose that the original owner(s) are no longer extant. If allowed to dry naturally, will abiogenetically create an infestation of scorpions.
Disposition: Sell them. This is almost pure profit.
Walking stick
Article Description: Rosewood shaft. silver knob at the top. Mass produced rubber ferrule appears to be ave added later.
Provenance:Tegyrius
Analysis of the Research Team: Appears to have been chemically and magically treated. May be completely unbreakable by any force not able to disperse the entire molecular structure of the cane. Damn useful as a personal weapon or as an impromptu lever. Tegyrius says that he can make one of these per quarter, so they’ll likely not flood the market.
Disposition:Philly ought to have a couple of people, who I have taken the liberty of calling, who would have an interest.
درخت که خرس میوه از مرگ
Article Description: A small wooden box with two doors on its front, elaborately carved, holding 4 slim volumes in incredibly dense and old Persian handwriting. The paper is from the right period, although it does appear that the outer binding may be new(er). Each volume bears the title picked out in silver lettering on the spine. The translation is approximately, “The Tree that bears the fruit of Death” There is a pin trap in the latch on the box. Easy to avoid if you know it’s there.
Provenance: Luther Cabrell (I can only assume that maniac has had the information duplicated. Don’t know why he reached out to me for this sale. It’s not like he needs the money.)
Analysis of the Research Team: A complete and comprehensive treatise on poisons known to 10th-century medicine. Each volume dealing with a different type. (Ingested, Contact, Gaseous, and Insinuative.) Thankfully, I’ve seen this sort of thing before and nobody on the research team was dumb to handle the box or the books without gloves. It was usually assumed that anyone of the Fedayeen who was entrusted to learn from these books was to undertake a course of developing immunities to the various poisons impregnating the pages for over a full year. Anyone who did not do so usually began behaving erratic, became blind and then shortly, dead.
Disposition: There’s always going to be a market for this stuff. Do not however buy any additional trouble for yourself. If you are approached by an Iranian person who becomes agitated that you even have the stupid thing, then don’t wait. Defend yourself. If they make you an offer, though. Sell it to them. (Don’t gouge, but do dicker, otherwise they’ll be insulted.)
