Doris Badenov

Concept: Drag Queen turned Hunter

AKA: Jordan Michaels

Desc: Mid thirties, kind of shy and unassuming. A little overweight and wildly self-conscious about it. Not much of man by the light of day, but once he’s got his hair on, and is zipped up. Well. downright buxom, and weirdly enough super-confident and funny.  Almost as if turning into a sweet bird of paradise throws some internal switch in his head. Blond hair that is thinning a bit, Needs glasses to read, but almost never wears them. While he does have a little bit of a stomach, he’s got good muscle tone nearly everywhere else.  Has that weird thing of eating tiny amounts of food eight times a day. Tans whenever he can.

History: Jordan got lucky. Well, as lucky as a gay kid can ever get. School was a hellish minefield for a gay introvert, and naturally, he suffered as many do. But when it came time to tell his parents, They had already figured it out. the fact that his mother had found his secret stash of make-up and it was larger than his sisters was kind of a clue. They still loved him, although, as they said, they were very sad that he wouldn’t providing them with grandchildren.  Of course, they dumped all THAT pressure onto his sister, which, although she loves him, she kind of resents. It tends to come out about once a month usually in a drunk call around 2AM. Ah well.

Jordan, like many young creative introverts, tried out theater. Don’t kid yourself. There are a LOT of introverts who go into theater. Acting is just one way that painfully shy people have of drawing you into their world, maybe there, they have a little more control.  Some introverts decide that maybe theater is just the best way to develop a fantastic disguise.  In any case, Jordan is a good actor, but he is much more at home as an entertainer. At least there, he can put his hair and make-up skills to use, and he won’t have to “Play Straight” and kiss a lot of women.

At some point along the line, Jordan decided that Drag was for him. he CAN dance, and he’s a pretty good singer too. (His Edith Piaf impersonation is to die for.)  He’s likable. Razor sharp and funny on stage. Shows up on time. Doesn’t drink until the performance is over and rarely, if ever, throws shade. “Doris Badenov” is like his super-hero identity. He feels like she gives him permission to the person he’d truly like to be.

And you know, he probably would have been perfectly happy to grow into a bitter old queen sometime down the road had it not been for the Vampire.

You hear whispers sometimes of that kind of thing going on. Usually, you chalk it up to too much wine or weed-induced paranoia. If you believed ANY of the stories that some have told, you’d think that the tiny tiny strip of gay bars was some kind of prime feeding ground. But Doris didn’t believe in any of that crap.

Then one night, as he was trying to negotiate that little hump of the door frame at the stage entrance with his rolling case, He saw a dude biting another dude on the neck. Normally, that sort of thing would inspire a bit of envy. not fear. Until the bite-y guy leaned back and Jordan got a good look at his face. Got a good look at his eyes.

And the vampire saw him.

Things happened very quickly after that. The bitten guy got shoved aside as the vampire rushed Jordan. But there were a couple of things that worked against the vampire that night. 1) Jordan had been training in Judo since he was eleven. and 2) The 9-inch stiletto heels he was carrying in his other hand made a good impromptu stake.

After the vampire had been dispatched, head sliced off with the blade of a borrowed paper slicer from the office of the club, Jordan went home, cracked open a bottle, called in sick to work, and drank himself to sleep.

He waited for a week. Expecting that the other shoe would drop and some blood-sucker would come after him. The bitten guy seemed to have no memory of the incident when he ran into him again 3 days later.  But then, as he had said. “I’d had a lot to drink.”

Once you know that vampires aren’t weed inspired bullshit, you can’t exactly shut your eyes to the problem anymore. And Jordan’s awareness grew, that the problem was kind of pervasive in his little community.

The one thing,that has maybe kept him alive is that the next time he saw something going wrong and stepped in to try to stop it, he was dressed as Doris, and for some reason, “Doris” was not having it.  Did you know that a lighter and hairspray can be made into an impromptu flamethrower? It’s totally true.  The second vampire did NOT know that shit.

Attitude: “Look Darling. All I'm saying is that we have enough problems with fucking cops and homophobic frat boys, not to mention drama within our own community for ANY one of us to go around unguarded on any given night.  I’m not saying you have to buy a gun or anything like that. Just...Just keep your eyes open. Will you? For me?”

Skills: As mentioned, Jordan is skilled in judo and seems to have a knack for improvised weaponry. His hair and make-up skills are such that he actually has the tools and talent to be a true master of disguise. Which is good because so far, those vampires who have taken an interest can’t seem to get an idea of who they are dealing with exactly.  In fact, the word is that there is a GROUP of homosexual men and women who may be fighting back against the vampires. So far, no Hunter group has exactly twigged to what’s going on, and they, were they keen to recruit Doris, would run up against the same problem. You might consider giving Jordan “Unseen Sense (Vampires)” so that he has a slight edge.  One thing that is eventually going to be a problem is the fact that Jordan knows exactly fuck-all about vampires beyond what he’s seen in the movies.  So far, that’s been enough. One night, it’s not going to be.

Gear: Rarely performs anywhere without the rolling case of DOOM, which in addition to carrying all the make-up, toiletries, and wig. Also now houses some vampire staking stakes that he got from a friend who works on the ren-faire circuit. The BIG can of aqua-net with a push-button butane lighter duct taped into place, and a taser disguised as a cell phone, bought from some mail order outfit. Jordan has taken to making sure that Doris’s hair is now done up with some kind of thing that can be used to stab someone if push comes to shove. When Jordan is just being Jordan he is rarely without his smartphone, He’s gotten pretty adept with the camera on that thing and has gotten pretty good at taking surreptitious pictures. Many of them turn up on his Facebook; some reveal vampires and are naturally saved for intelligence gathering purposes. Some have revealed even odder things...Jordan is wondering what kind of fucking rabbit hole he’s fallen down. Which explain the flask he’s taken to carrying everywhere too.

Home: Jordan’s apartment is a source of near-constant stress. He has a one bedroom place in a building that is 20+ years old and not in the nicest neighborhood. The super is a creep and getting him to fix anything is like pulling teeth. That said, Jordan keeps the place clean, and he’s not been sharing it with anyone since Ramon fucked off to work the cruise-line. Anyone coming after him though will have to contend with the fact that it would be nearly impossible to do without being seen, and that the Apartment building’s neighborhood watch is, to put it mildly, hair trigger. As I said, the neighborhood isn’t very nice.

Circle: Jordan doesn’t have a lot of friends. Some people he works with at the insurance agency. a few good friends from college and that’s about it. DORIS, however, is much beloved, at least in her community and Jordan may not necessarily realize how many people do care about him. Who knows, it might the difference between life and death some night. Doris has a dot or two of Fame and Barfly, naturally.

Story Uses:

“Oh no. I’m not going to scratch your eyes out. YOU ARE.”

Naturally, the inability to feed in the rack without consequences of a somewhat fatal nature... is going to be a rude shock.

“Don’t worry Sugar. They won’t see me coming...”

Doris will make an excellent addition to a hunter group who is okay with her uniqueness. Naturally, the more Church-y operations won’t take her in, but some of the others certainly would. Ashwood Abbey would appreciate her for her sheer novelty alone. It would, however, take them a while to begin treating her like a real person...

Connections:

*Knows  Darla Grumman but then who doesn't know Darla. She's a dear. Fixes things. Can't get the scumbag super to do it. So I call Darla. Can't stand that woman of hers, though.

*Met that nice cop Detective Bela Janofski once while he was working on a thing involving a pair of boys I knew who got murdered in the park. He was very polite. Maybe the most polite cop I ever met.

*I went to Elementary school with the Hernandez Sisters and they introduced me to Rachel Schwartz. Occasionally, I do Cabaret gigs at Caligari's. Love those girls.