At some point in your work, you'll get involved in various secret societies. You really can't help it. It's endemic to a life in the silhouetted world. You'll trade letters with mysticks across the globe, share crackpot theories with fellow travelers at small gatherings. You'll even do a few initiatory rituals with varying degrees of personal danger involved. After a while, pain starts to be something about which you are a bit blasé and with an experienced eye you can read the roadmap of scars and tattoos that others carry and learn something of the content of their lives.
Sooner or later, though you start to realize that it's all guesswork. No one has ALL the answers. No Mentor is wise and all knowing. And that furthermore, the tried and true methods and experiences won't necessarily translate into spellcasting prowess for you.
You've kind of got to find your own way. And there's nothing wrong with that, specifically. But, there are a LOT of people in the occult community who hold positions, some with some real political power, that are no great shakes as an occultist. Some accept this and most who do are people with greater people ability and a better understanding of themselves. Others are on the prod to prove how "bad-ass" they are in the magickal realm, and this can be a real pain in the fundament. There are too many people in occult circles who have their ego and self-image tied up in ability they may not actually possess.
So go ahead. Make a few friends. Develop a pen pal or two, but like anything else involving human interaction, you'll find that there are invariably too many creeps and you'll back off.
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