Parker Mortuary Services and Black Creek Cemetery

Location: 

Located on W. Polk St. across the street from the Black Creek Cemetery, Although the Funeral home has been called on to deliver corpses to their final rest all over town.

The Backstory:

Edgar Hollingsworth Parker opened the funeral parlor in 1922. He ran a tight ship. In turn, he trained his son Wallace to take over the family business.

Wallace had a son and two daughters. He insisted that they learn the family trade even if they planned not to go into it. It was important to Wallace that they had the option to choose, that he wasn't given. Mary Parker went into accountancy. Katharine went into T.V. news and Trent…Well.

Trent was the sort of good looking guy, who never was all that bright. And when he tore his ACL, the dreams of pro ball went up in smoke and so did his interest in actual schoolwork. Since he'd been around funeral homes all of his life, he could actually pass the licensing exam in his sleep. So, after taking a year off to find himself, (He didn't, but at least he got laid a lot bumming around europe.) He came home and that's what he did.

The problem is, Trent is not the worst manager of a funeral home EVER. He's kind to his employees, and although he phones it in, he does at least know all the right words to say to grieving clients. And not to put to fine a point on it, even if you AREN'T doing shady business. The Mortuary business is damn near recession proof. The charges for nearly everything are crazy exorbitant, People are always going to die, and it's not as if it's a business that can be shipped overseas.

Still, the Parker home has had some up and down years, mainly because Trent has a bit of a gambling problem, Also he likes to drink a little and on very rare occasions likes a little nose candy. No real serious addiction problem, but still leading to questionable choices. Since his gambling problem has occasionally gotten him in dutch with his sport book, it's put a crimp in the soft money he used to lay off on nearby parish priests, pastors and hospice grief counselors to kick business his way. That meant less business all the way around. Even so, with the economy as bad as it is, and families paying closer attention to the contractual fine print in many of the packages that the home offered, he still wasn't in danger of filing chapter 11 or anything.

Enter Frankie C.

A drinking buddy had mentioned a particular high stakes Omaha Hold-Em game, and since Martha and the kids were out of town visiting the parents, why the hell not?

You know, when you're up against someone, who has hands that fast at shuffling and dealing, and seems to have a knack for producing just the right card to fuck up your day, and has the unnerving ability to seemingly KNOW when you're bluffing. Maybe you should walk away from the table. You know? But, hey, when you're already four drinks in, it's hard to make those sorts of deductions.

Trent lost. He lost big. 

His head got to spinning from how much he'd lost in two nights of play. Others faired similarly well. 

Thank god Frankie was such a nice guy about it. "Don't worry. Fuggetaboutit! We'll work something out. I'll come by tomorrow night and work something out that we can live with. Don't sweat it Trent. It's all golden."

And in truth, Trent did not sweat it. He'd been down before. Although not this badly. And Frankie wasn't saying anything about breaking his legs…Although, he did let it slip that he might have mob connections. But Frankie wouldn't do that…Would he?

The next night was a sobering experience. Frank came by and explained that gambling debts are serious business, and the vigerish on those debts could be ruinous. especially if you missed a payment or something. So Frank had taken the liberty of drawing up a contract whereby controlling interest in the home gets signed over to some company out of Iowa and Frank comes in with Trent as a silent partner. In return, Frank would forgive the entirety of the debt and even plow some additional monies into the business itself. Helping to upgrade the refrigeration area, the enbalming room, and even paying for the building of a second crematorium.

It seemed too good to be true. But all Trent had to do was look at the math and the man in front of him with the serious eyes untouched by a smile. Yeah. Frankie might be the kind of guy who might break a guys legs. 

So now, Trent is in. He knows it. He has an idea of how screwed he may just be. And when Frankie starts to explain certain slight changes in the way that the Parker Mortuary is going to do business…He is filled with a nameless creeping dread. He'd love to go to the cops, but he found a picture of his sister sleeping in her bed on his desk with the words, "Pretty girl. It'd be a shame if something bad were to befall her."

The Layout:

The front entrance to the home is a large door that opens out onto a long wooden veranda. Both sides of the veranda have wooden swings hanging from sturdy chains. The large front room opens into an open and tastefully appointed foyer. An electric organ sits on the right hand wall and a capacious coat closet is on the left hand. Each side of the foyer opens into a separate visitation room. Each has a pedestal for a visitor's book.

If you continue back in the foyer, you'll find two small toilets sides by side at a choke point in the hall. Past the choke point the hall opens into an informal kitchen/lounge area. with a fridge, plenty of counter space, coffee maker, even a small and very clean microwave. A set of glass double doors at the very back of the house open onto the back parking lot. The kitchen/Lounge run the length of the back of the house but for an access door into each visitation room and an unmarked door to one side. This door opens into a hallway that also leads to the back parking lot.. The hallway is the sole access to the elevator on the ground floor and is rarely unlocked during services. Kids wander, ya know?

The Second Floor: 

Home to the office and casket showroom, as well as Trent's own personal "apartment". He stays here on those occasions where his work calls for funky hours and he just doesn't feel like driving home. Say what you will about Trent, other than the couch where he plays his X-box, the whole of the upstairs is fairly neat and clean..

The Basement: 

The elevator (Which is a large hospital style affair, with plenty of room.) goes down to the enbalming room and the refrigeration units capable of holding up to 12 clients. The Basement has a powerful venting system that creates a fairly strong breeze. This is to keep formalin fumes at a minimum. It was formerly the practice of the house to dispose of the blood of the cadavers by draining off into biohazard bags and then disposal. But apparently, A deal has been made with the nearby medical schools serology department. So the blood is drained off and stored in one of the refrigeration units, It's picked up once a week. Funny how none of the staff have ever seen the guy who picks it up. The rest of the downstairs area is set aside for storage. (Urns, religious regalia of various sorts,flower stands and vases…) The basement has a tunnel which leads across the parking lot to the cremation room.

The Cremation Room:

Is a sort of concrete bunker at the back of the parking lot. It is separated from the main house because of the extreme heat of the crematoria within, A small closet holds personal protection gear. Work has already begun on the second "Shed"

Additionally, Frank has added a small box to the protection gear closet which holds a goodly length of anchor chain, and 3 wooden stakes.

The Whole Point of the Exercise:

Leave aside, that properly managed, the whole operation is a nice cash cow, with a few creative scams it can be a cash cow stampede.

For instance, a number of funeral homes have been caught selling cadavers to medical schools. (Especially if they were supposed to be cremated directly.) Frank has no plans to do this yet until he can get a doctor with flexible morals on the hook.

Additionally, just because a fella was in a certain casket when he was in visitation, doesn't mean that's the casket he'll be buried in. Once everyone's gone, it's pretty easy to swap them out.

There are a plethora of pricing dodges and scams which involve insurance assignment contracts. 

Story uses:

• It's fairly obvious what's happening here. Either Frank is working for some kindred or is Kindred himself. But even if he weren't the money involved in juicing Trent is non-trivial. But beyond that, For a kindred there are added benefits. The blood thing above is only the start. The ability to come round and collect a body in the one vehicle the cops won't look at twice is useful. Not to mention the ability to cremate that body and get rid of it forever.  Caskets may come in handy in various other havens, and Frank already has his eye on a set of crypts in Black Creek that are owned by the company. They'd be good emergency bolt-hole havens, and a good place to cache weapons and money.
• The same reasons that make a Funeral home attractive to vampires might additionally make them attractive to spies. Is Frank really some Goombah or something a little more covert?
• Are your players ghost hunters or Sin Eaters? Trent, and probably anybody else working at the home have seen some shit. Oh sure, it's not polite to talk about such things while visitation is going on, but after hours and a couple of drinks in, the stories FLOW.
• Trent is caught in the middle here and sooner or later is going to end up having to do something horrible. When that happens, there's no telling exactly how well he'll handle it, or if he'll be able to handle it at all. But if he does...He might end up making a good ghoul...or Childe.