Occult Investigation Field Manual (Excerpt):
1) Get good shoes. Steel toe, with a non-slip tread.
2) Get a good tool bag or doctor bag. Get one with a padded strap and plenty of pockets.
3) Keep Altoids and Altoids gum tins. They are too useful for carrying small things.
4) Never ever underestimate the power of extremely loud metal music in agitating ghosts. (Note: Screaming For Vengeance by Judas Priest is a good one, and will prevent you from falling asleep on long drives as well.)
5) Buy a digital movie camera. You may never end up using it, but it'll cut a LOT of ice with local police.
6) Flashlight AND matches.
7) Having it in your Phone is not a substitute for having it in your little notebook. Having it in your little notebook is not a substitute for having it in your head.
8) Learn the WHOLE Catholic rite of exorcism, not just the sexy Old Testament sounding bits.
9) For every useful book on the occult that you find, three will have no index. Four will have poor translations or be subtly wrong in other ways. Two will be incoherent because of poor editing. Three will be incoherent because of incipient insanity on the part of the author, and at least one will have a diagram upside down.
10) Good heavy gloves. Nitrile gardening gloves.
11) Even if you're going to exorcise an apartment, TAKE THE COIL OF ROPE!
12) Take multivitamins. Cold snaps during a haunting can be a problem during flu season.
13) For the trunk: two breakdown shovels, cleaning supplies, and plastic sheeting.
14) If you do not know how already, learn to swim.
15) Do not be claustrophobic if you want to do this sort of work.
16) There are a few household chemicals that can be used to create improvised explosives. Get familiar with the locations of any big box supermarkets that are open all night.
17) Pistols are rarely useful. Shotguns, however, are another story.
18) Ask for a name. You probably won't get it, but it never hurts to ask.
19) If the warding glyph is at all useful, you might consider tattooing it on you.
20) Always...and I cannot stress this enough, ALWAYS carry a set of nail clippers on you.
21) Be prepared for the texts to be wrong. Never plan in such a way that you're betting your life on the translation.
No comments:
Post a Comment