Path-notes from the edge of forever(1)

(extremely crabbed handwriting, Page 36)

And it was there on the bus that I had my epiphany. I seem to have a lot of them ever since I stopped sleeping. There's a sort of clarity and a cleansing of the psyche that comes with it, but I must remain on track. The work it never stops. My mind is a furnace with all sorts of movement going on in back as if burly men were moving furniture around back there. The work. I must. The work...

In any case, the epiphany was this: In alchemy, you have a language of chemistry, but alchemy is also a metaphorical art, meant to reach up and grasp the root of the world tree and pick its fruit. I'd cite the relevant works, but I must get this thought on the paper. Must must must! It's a metaphorical art. That's key. Very key.

Emotional states create chemical changes in a person. So, by means of this metaphorical art one (1) can find a means of the chemistry and fundamentally the MATH of the HUMAN SOUL! Parse it! The complex interplay of chemical reactions dictated by the brainwave patterns of the human mind. If one (1) could find the alchemical language to complete the equations, you could create the necessary chemical reactions at will. One (1) needs to find a shorthand for the emotional apparatus. If you can, you can create emotional states AT WILL! 

But further, there is a greater jump. I now believe that the ancient Chinese had a means, a system, to take this math to its ultimate state. By creating chemical reactions WITHIN THE HUMAN BODY, they learned a method, a complicated and multi-step method to be sure, to find a way into immortality.

When I realized this I became ecstatic and the bus driver, the one(1) I do not like, was forced to throw me off the bus. I will bathe in his blood when my powers of reckoning are upon me.

I need to find this emotional alphabet, and I need to tattoo it onto my hands so that I can manipulate the reactions outside my mind. Learn reflexes; study the muscle memory of certain emotional states. I am onto something larger than the whole history of psychology, and if I do it right...I will bring happiness. I will cure madness. I WILL STEP INTO FOREVER!